At one point, I lived out of a suitcase.
Week one in Metro Manila.
Week two somewhere else.
Alternate beds.
Alternate cities.
Alternate lives.
Work gave me access to places,
people,
and perspectives.
I met leaders.
Built networks.
Honed my craft in stakeholder management.
For a while, it felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be.
Then one early morning,
more than 500 kilometers away from home,
while overseeing event ingress in Cebu,
my phone rang.
It was my wife.
Her voice was shaking.
Our one-year-old had slipped in the bathtub.
Head first.
She was alone.
Afraid.
Panicking.
So was I.
Quietly.
Everything around me disappeared.
The checklist.
The stage lights.
The approvals.
The noise.
I was not there.
I could not help.
I could not even hold them.
And it hit me.
What am I really working for?
If I am going to be away this much,
why not be in Singapore, Australia, or Canada?
Thrice the pay.
Better benefits.
Better options.
But there I was.
In Cebu.
Not abroad.
Not earning dollars.
Missing moments no salary can ever buy back.
Priorities change.
Years from now,
I will not remember that event.
But I will remember the moments I missed.
And I will regret them.
You do not get a second chance at the first five years of your child’s life.
You only get one chance to be present.
I am grateful for every opportunity.
Truly.
But some things matter more.
Any man can be a father.
A provider.
Not every man becomes a dad.
So to my fellow fathers,
we can always return to chasing careers.
For now,
I choose to chase something better.
I choose to be present.
*play Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda by Brian McKnight*