Short-term slay, long-term stray

My messenger apps have been popping nonstop.

Group chats everywhere.

Christmas parties.

Reunions.

Get-togethers.

And it does not stop there.

Venues.

Themes.

Games.

Gimmicks.

Gift rules.

Someone even makes a spreadsheet.

Another designs a mood board.

Impressive.

Weeks before December, everything is planned.

Every detail.

Every angle.

Every post.

But ask the same people about their five-year plan,

and the chat goes quiet.

No typing bubbles.

No replies.

No reactions.

We pour energy into short-term happiness

because it is easier.

It is concrete.

It is fun.

It is fast.

Planning for life feels heavier.

It demands reflection.

Discipline.

Patience.

And many would rather avoid that.

But here is the truth:

Both matter.

It is not wrong to plan for Christmas.

It is a season worth celebrating.

But the other eleven months

deserve the same intention.

Your joy in December will fade by January.

Your direction will not.

So yes,

plan the party.

Buy the gifts.

Make it special.

But also plan your growth.

Map your goals.

Design your future.

Be as intentional with your life

as you are with your holidays.

Because life is not built

on one perfect season.

It is built

on what you do with all the days in between.

Don't just warn, guide

We all love a good trip.

Driving, especially, is therapeutic for me.

I love the open road.

If I’m alone,

it’s time to think.

If I’m with someone I love,

it’s even better,

especially with good music playing.

*play Passenger Seat by Stephen Speaks*

Windows down. Volume up. No rush.

It feels like freedom.

Until traffic hits.

That excitement fades fast

when you are stuck in a standstill.

Imagine this.

You are on your way to Baguio,

picturing cool air and pine trees,

when Kennon Road turns into a parking lot.

Then a friend texts:

“Traffic here. Not moving.”

Thanks.

But you are already stuck.

Now imagine a different message:

“Accident ahead. Two lanes blocked. Take this route instead.”

Suddenly, you feel better.

You feel informed.

You feel prepared.

You feel in control.

That is the power of Waze.

It does not just point out the problem.

It helps you move past it.

In life, we need more of that.

Some people only point out what is wrong.

Some explain why it happened.

But the rare ones,

the real leaders,

the people who matter,

are the ones who help you find a way forward.

They do not just criticize.

They clarify.

They do not just complain.

They contribute.

They do not just observe.

They guide.

Be that person.

Be the one who offers solutions, not just opinions.

Who listens before reacting.

Who helps others see options when they feel stuck.

Because everyone hits traffic in life.

Delays.

Setbacks.

Mistakes.

Detours.

And in those moments,

what people need most

is not commentary.

It is direction.

So be the Waze in someone’s life.

Find the cause.

Offer the route.

Keep them moving.

Life, not lifestyle

“Why are you always traveling?”

I get asked that a lot.

Fair question.

Some of my colleagues save because they are breadwinners.

Some save for stability.

For emergencies.

For the future.

That is responsible.

That is wise.

Then there are those who live by one line:

#YOLO

Buy now.

Enjoy now.

Post now.

Worry later.

Chasing what can be bought.

The new phone.

The designer bag.

The bigger car.

The next upgrade.

And there is nothing wrong with nice things.

But here is my honest answer.

Traveling has always been my dream.

Not just around Asia.

But the world.

Because you can own something for years

and forget how it felt to get it.

Yet you can remember a moment forever.

The sunrise in a city you have never seen before.

The laughter with friends in a place you cannot pronounce.

The wrong train that led to the best story.

The feeling of being small in a very big world.

Those moments do not depreciate.

They do not need upgrades.

They do not go out of style.

They do not lose value.

When I look back one day,

I will not count the gadgets I owned.

I will remember how I felt

when I was present,

curious,

alive.

So maybe this is me justifying my wanderlust.

But if money is a tool,

I would rather use it

to collect stories

than storage.

Because in the end,

memories are the only investments

that appreciate with time.

Why I still teach

During weekdays, I call people “Sir” and “Ma’am.”

On weekends, I become “Sir” too,

when students call me “Prof.”

That still feels special.

There are many things people don’t talk about when it comes to teaching.

The random “Good morning, Sir” that lifts your mood.

The quiet satisfaction of being part of someone’s journey.

Those are some of the perks.

They make the long hours feel worth it.

But they don’t always talk about the weight.

About the nights spent staring at ungraded papers,

wondering if it even matters.

About worrying over a student who stopped showing up.

About questioning yourself

when assignments keep going missing.

They don’t tell you that the job doesn’t end when the bell rings.

Because the truth is,

their stories follow you home.

There was one semester I almost quit.

The pay was low.

The noise was high.

And the fire that once fueled me felt dim.

Every class felt heavier than the last.

I thought maybe I was done.

Then one afternoon,

as I packed my things,

I found a small folded note on my desk.

It said:

“Sir, thank you for believing in me.

No one ever did.”

That line hit harder than any lecture I had ever given.

It reminded me why I started.

Teaching is not just a profession.

It is an act of faith.

You show up even when you are tired.

You plant seeds you may never see grow.

You hold space for students carrying more than they should.

That note saved my fire.

I know I am not the best professor.

Far from it.

But if I can reach even five percent of my students,

if I can change five lives out of a hundred for the better,

that is not nothing.

That is purpose.

And yes, sometimes I read notes that say,

“Prof, I love you”

(or “crush po kita,” as they’d say).

I guess that counts as bonus points. *wink*

What laughter hides

On Sundays, I served at church.

On weekdays, I worked.

On weeknights, I attended postgrad classes.

On Saturdays, I taught.

Being a part-time lecturer meant long days, short rest, and very little pause.

So when I finally had a free weekend,

I treated myself to something simple.

A nearby bakery.

Comfort bread.

A bottle of Pepsi Blue.

Quiet.

Then one of my students suddenly approached me.

Feeling familiar, he jokingly asked if I could treat him.

Slightly annoyed. But I obliged.

What’s twenty pesos, right?

Choose kindness.

This was not a fancy university.

No air-conditioned rooms.

No ergonomic chairs.

No polished hallways.

It was a state college,

where I taught as a way of giving back,

paying forward what I had learned.

Just bare walls, wooden desks, and students who showed up anyway.

Back in class, that same student was loud and lively.

He recited confidently.

Cracked jokes from the back row.

Played the class clown.

The kind people call “bibo.”

Sometimes charming.

Often distracting.

Fast forward to one afternoon.

I was heading home when he saw me and asked where I was going.

I answered politely.

Again, choose kindness.

He said he was headed the same way and asked if he could hitch a ride.

I agreed,

though I was still a little irritated.

Near a construction site, he asked to be dropped off.

I waited for a moment.

Curious.

Then I saw him walk straight inside.

Safety hat.

Vest.

Gloves.

Hollow blocks.

That noisy student.

That joker.

That “class clown.”

A 17-year-old construction worker.

Working nights.

Carrying not just cement,

but responsibility.

Pressure.

Survival.

Suddenly, everything made sense.

Maybe that’s where his energy came from.

Maybe that’s why he joked so much.

Maybe that’s how he stayed awake.

Stayed hopeful.

Stayed strong.

After that day, I paid more attention.

He was a Boy Scout.

Active in volunteer work.

Quick to defend classmates being bullied.

He wasn’t trying to be funny.

He was trying to cope.

Trying to carry more than most people his age ever should.

That realization humbled me.

This was different from the world I knew.

It reminded me why I teach.

Why I give back.

Why I try to see people beyond first impressions.

Because we all carry weights the world cannot see.

Some hide them behind smiles.

Some behind jokes.

Some behind noise.

So be careful how quickly you judge.

Not every clown is carefree.

Not every jester is shallow.

Some are just doing their best

to survive

and still make others smile.

Justice League, assemble

Millennials and Gen Xers remember Voltes V.

Five pilots.

Five machines.

Different strengths.

Alone, they were good.

Together, they were unstoppable.

We saw it again in Justice League.

And then came The Avengers on the big screen.

I still remember watching it and thinking,

“This is it. This is what teamwork looks like.”

Different powers.

Different personalities.

One mission.

Real strength does not start with “I.”

It starts with “we.”

Yet somewhere along the way, we were told:

Be independent.

Be self-made.

Do not rely on anyone.

So we learned to carry everything alone.

We learned to say “I’m fine” when we were tired.

We learned to struggle quietly.

Until life reminded us of the truth.

The biggest wins rarely happen solo.

We need people who see our blind spots.

Who lift us when we are drained.

Who tell us hard truths.

Who stay when things get heavy.

Asking for help is not failure.

It is strength.

Choosing partnership over pride

is not surrender.

It is strategy.

Because teams do more than survive.

They change the world.

And the strongest generation

is not the one that stands alone,

but the one that learns how to rise together.

Your circle, your standard

Lately, I have noticed something.

My circle is getting smaller.

Not because I care less.

Not because I am distant.

Not because I think I am better than anyone.

Because I am becoming more conscious.

More intentional with time.

More careful with energy.

More honest about priorities.

They say it is “quality over quantity.”

I think of it as awareness.

When you grow older, you realize

you cannot carry everyone with you.

And you should not try to.

Who you spend time with

slowly shapes who you become.

Their habits.

Their thinking.

Their standards.

Their excuses.

All of it transfers.

If you surround yourself with confident people,

confidence becomes normal.

If you surround yourself with disciplined people,

discipline becomes natural.

If you surround yourself with dreamers who act,

action becomes expected.

And if you surround yourself with people who complain,

settle, and stagnate,

that becomes normal too.

It is not arrogance to choose your circle.

It is responsibility.

A good circle challenges you.

Not with pressure,

but with example.

They raise your standards

without saying a word.

They call you out

when you are getting comfortable.

They remind you

who you said you wanted to become.

There is no faster way to grow

than to stay close to people

who are already living at a higher level.

Not higher in money.

Higher in character.

Higher in discipline.

Higher in integrity.

Find those people.

The ones who make you sharper just by being around them.

Because over time,

you become a reflection of your environment.

Their mindset becomes familiar.

Their habits become yours.

Their expectations become your baseline.

When you elevate your circle,

your life follows.

And when your circle gets smaller,

but stronger,

that is not loss.

That is progress.

It's not what you think

Every day, we engage with several people.

And every interaction invites interpretation.

We are quick to assume.

Quick to label.

Quick to judge.

A message comes late.

“They’re ignoring me.”

Plans get canceled.

“They’re losing interest.”

A colleague sounds distant.

“They’re being rude.”

Conclusions arrive faster than context.

But what if not?

Maybe that reply was written and forgotten in exhaustion.

Maybe that friend is barely holding it together.

Maybe that colleague is carrying something you cannot see.

Choosing empathy does not mean being naive.

It means choosing understanding over ego.

It means refusing to reduce people

to one moment,

one mistake,

one bad day.

Strong relationships are built on generosity of interpretation.

On giving others room to be human.

The world runs better

when we slow down our conclusions.

So the next time you feel tempted to react,

pause.

Ask yourself:

What else could be true?

What might I be missing?

Because behind every delay, misstep, or awkward moment,

there is often a story.

And almost always,

a person doing their best.

Business writing tip

One of my students once asked during a weekend lecture:

“Prof, do you have any business writing tips?”

I smiled and said,

“Don’t do business writing.”

They laughed.

Then I explained.

Do not hide behind stiff formatting and lifeless jargon.

Do not drown your message in buzzwords that mean nothing.

No one talks like this in real life:

“Effective January 1, 2012, we are ceasing operations at this location due to unforeseen circumstances. We apologize for the inconvenience. For inquiries, please contact…”

You would never say that to a person’s face.

You would say:

“We’re closing this store. Sorry for the hassle. If you have questions, here’s how to reach us.”

See the difference?

One sounds like a memo.

The other sounds like a human being.

Write the second way.

Write like you speak.

The best business writing is clear, natural, and sincere.

It is not about sounding smart.

It is about being understood.

People do not respond to templates.

They respond to tone.

To honesty.

To intent.

So here is the rule:

If you would not say it that way in person,

do not write it that way on paper.

Simple.

Human.

Effective.

Utterly

Between work, postgrad, and teaching part-time,
I give a lot of presentations.

Five,

Sometimes twice.

Every month.

After a while, you notice patterns.

What works.

What loses attention.

What weakens your message.

And one thing became clear.

Most people talk too much

to say too little.

Not because they lack ideas.

Because they hide them

behind unnecessary words.

You have heard them.

Actually.

Basically.

Literally.

Very.

Totally.

Really.

Words that sound useful.

But add nothing.

We use them to sound polished.

We use them to sound intelligent.

We use them to buy time.

They do none of those things.

They dilute.

“Very important” is weaker than “important.”

“Basically the plan is” is weaker than “the plan is.”

“I literally think” is weaker than “I think.”

Strong communicators do not decorate ideas.

They deliver them.

Every word should earn its place.

If it does not add clarity,

it adds noise.

If it does not strengthen the message,

it weakens it.

Professionals respect their audience’s time.

They do not bury meaning.

They sharpen it.

They cut excess.

They remove filler.

They speak with intention.

Because clarity is credibility.

And precision is power.

Once you let go of pointless words,

your message becomes stronger.

Your confidence becomes clearer.

Your thinking becomes sharper.

Not louder.

Just better.

Say less.

Mean more.

Ate Atty.

Ate (noun)
Tagalog for older sister.

Atty. (noun)
Short for Attorney. A title my Ate carries with her name.

All my life, my sister has been ahead of me.
Not just in age, but in grit.

Very studious.
Straight As.
The type who gets disappointed over an 89.

Focused on the goal.
Unbothered by unnecessary things.
Never distracted. Never lazy.

Top of her class, always.
Consistent. Reliable. Serious about her dreams.

Maroon & Gold for her bachelor’s.
Blue & White for law.
Passed the bar.

No shortcuts.
No excuses.
Just years of showing up.

Growing up, she set the standard.
Not just for me, but for the whole clan.
Whether she liked it or not.

Now she’s officially a lawyer.

And yes, I’m proud.
Very proud.

Because not everyone can say this:

"My sister bought me a playstation"

“My sister is not just another lawyer.
She works for a Senior Justice
of the Supreme Court of the Philippines.”

Handle with care

Driving in Metro Manila during the holidays can test anyone’s patience.

Impatient drivers.

Motorcycles cutting through gaps.

Tension everywhere.

Then there was a car ahead of me moving slowly.

On its rear window was a small sign:

“Caution: New Driver.”

Just like that, my irritation softened.

I gave her space.

I gave her patience.

That small sign changed how I saw her.

And it made me wonder:

Would I have been as patient if the sign was not there?

Probably not.

We do not see the signs people carry.

No labels that say:

Going through a breakup.

Fighting depression.

Dealing with illness.

Barely holding it together.

If we could see those signs, we would be kinder.

But we should not need proof of someone’s struggle to offer grace.

So here is a simple rule:

Treat everyone like they are carrying a sign you cannot see.

Because most of the time, they are.