Replicate yourself

“We need more of your level. We need to replicate you.”

The owner of the company told me that once.
It stuck with me.

Because that’s what leadership really is. Succession, legacy, and purpose.
Creating versions of you through others.
Mentoring, not just commanding tasks.

A wise man once said,
Great people make other people feel that they can be great too.

I’ve been blessed with people who believed in me when I was still rough around the edges.
They saw what I could be, not just who I was.

Now, it’s my turn.

But here’s the thing. We need to be selective.
Be wise in discerning who to spend your precious time and energy on.
Choose who to pass on your life’s work.
Not everyone deserves access to your playbook.

When the time comes and you finally find them, pray that they value the gift.
That they carry it forward.

But if they don’t? If they turn out ungrateful?
Move on from them.
Their loss, not yours.

Worry not.

Greatness given is never wasted.
It finds its way to those who are ready to build it further.

You burned out your brightest

You don’t lose your best people overnight.
It starts small.

When you ask them to clean up after your poor performer’s mess.
"Reward” them with more work because they’re “the only ones who can.”
Then load them up again because they’re “so reliable.”

When they extend help out of malasakit, you shut them down because “they’re overstepping.”

Yet you volunteer them to support all employees, 300 strong. Because “the organization is thin,” forgetting that they are the only SME in the whole company. 300:1 is not fair.

You start tweaking definitions, telling them that marketing services such as event management are part of their job. Including escorting other executives, despite them having their own technical aides and secretaries.

You stretch them thin for out-of-scope work, but never fight for their raise, bonus, or promotion.

You justify their silent patience with “next cycle.”
Or you do give them an increase, but only by 5%, despite the workload increasing by 50% year on year — literally doing half the work of another headcount (the poor performer).

You call it “budget constraints” instead of admitting they deserve better.
You gaslight them to be “grateful.”

That’s BS.

Your best people will take it, for a while.
Because great employees don’t quit easily.

But one day, they’ll realize their care isn’t being reciprocated.

When that day comes, they won’t make noise.
They’ll stay professional, smile in meetings, and hit their deadlines.

Until one day, they won’t.
Because burnout doesn’t scream. It fades quietly.

Take them for granted, and you’ll lose the ones who carry your team’s weight.
The ones doing the actual heavy lifting. 
Handling departmental head tasks, for you.

Leading those meetings that you don't have the business acumen in, may it be about stakeholder management, sustainability reporting, risk management, or data privacy.

Be grateful. They are the reason you can sleep well at night.

Their agility is the reason you can scroll through social media during office hours.
Their malasakit, free OT, and crisis-management instincts are the reasons you can enjoy weeknights and weekends.
Their dependability is why you can go on leave for weeks without worry.

Ever notice how when they go on PTO, you suddenly have more meetings? you suddenly feel "tired."
That’s because they’re the ones actually doing the work while you go volunteering then credit-grabbing.

At least, compensate properly.
Value them genuinely.
“Proud of the team,” “Good job,” and “Thank you” are not enough.
Those cannot feed mouths.

Because if you don’t,
they’ll start building a life where they’re valued.

Culture > compensation

Gone are the days I’d take any job just for a higher pay grade or a shinier title.
Money isn’t the main driver anymore.

Now it’s about something else.
Working with someone, not under someone.
Because who you work for shapes who you become.

I’ve had bosses who manage tasks.
And leaders who build people.
One checks boxes. The other builds character.

Real leaders don’t buy loyalty.
They earn it through trust, vision, and consistency.

I don’t mind skill gaps. Technical skills can be learned.
That's why you are hiring me. For the subject matter expertise.

What matters is emotional intelligence.
Understanding people.
Knowing how to play their strengths and steady their weaknesses.

Someone who checks in once in a while, genuinely.
Someone who asks how you are, not what you’ve finished.
Someone who treats you as a person, not a cog in a machine.

Because that kind of leadership makes people stay, even when they can leave.

Over a decade in.
Grateful that at this stage, opportunities knock more often.
Frequent calls from headhunters remind me there are options.
But what I look for now is alignment.

I’m not being picky. I’m being intentional.

Money is nice.
But working with a true leader.
That’s priceless.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda

At one point, I had the curse perk of frequent travel.

Week 1 in Metro Manila.
Week 2 somewhere else.
Alternate weeks. Alternate beds. Alternate lives.

I was able to fly around the country thanks to my work.
Met so many people, interacted with different walks of life, and honed my mastery in stakeholder management.
For a time, it felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be.

Then one early morning, while I was over 500 kilometers away from my family, overseeing ingress for an event in Cebu, my phone rang.
It was my wife. Her voice was shaking.

Our little one had slipped in the bathtub, our one-year-young son, head first.
She was alone.
Naturally, she panicked.
I did too, on the inside.

Everything around me, the checklist, the stage lights, the people asking for final approvals, just disappeared.

I wasn’t there. I couldn’t help. I couldn’t even hold them.

And then it hit me.

I felt helpless.
And I was reminded, what am I really working for?

If I’m going to be away this much, why not do it in Singapore, Australia, or Canada?
Five times the salary. Better benefits. Maybe even better weather.

But there I was, in Cebu, not abroad, not earning dollars.
Missing moments his peso can never buy back.

Priorities change.
In the greater scheme of things, I won’t even remember the event I was working for.
But missing my son’s milestones, that I’ll remember.
That I’ll regret.

You can’t take back the first five years of your child’s life.
You only get one chance to be present.

While I’m grateful for all the opportunities, priorities must be set straight.

Any man can be a father. A provider.
But not everyone can be a dad.

Fellow dads, we can always go back to chasing a career.

For now, let me chase my dream of being a present dad.

Now play “Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda” by Brian McKnight.

Play where it lands

It started with a gift.

A golf club set personally handed to me by the President of our company.

He said, “You’ll learn a lot out there.”

I thought he meant about golf. He meant people.

Because golf reveals things the boardroom hides.

 In meetings, everyone’s polite. Strategic. Quoting Simon Sinek like it’s a religion.

But on the golf course? You’ll see who really practices “emotional intelligence” and who’s one slice away from throwing their driver into the lake.

Some people blame the wind.
Others blame the grass.
One guy blamed the sun.
Even gravity. 

Then there are the calm ones.

Golf’s funny like that.

It silences the loud, humbles the know-it-all, exposes the fake calm, and rewards those who can laugh at their own bad swing.

The fairway doesn’t care about your title or your KPIs. It only cares if you can recover.

Maybe that’s why the President gave me that set.
Not as a gift, but as a test.

Because in golf, like in life, everyone looks good at tee-off.

Character shows up on the second shot. When the ball didn’t go where you planned.

Never trust a guy who blames gravity.